📖 5-minute read
Should statements are inner rules — often inherited — that measure you against an invisible standard. 'I should be further along.' 'I shouldn't need help.' 'I should feel differently by now.'
The rules feel like truth but they're usually old messages: from parents, teachers, culture, or the traumatised parts of you that learned safety meant performing perfectly.
The skill: swap 'should' for 'want to' or 'it would help me to'. Notice what changes. 'I should exercise' becomes 'I want to feel steadier — a walk would help.' Same behaviour, no shame attached.