Shame
Understand it, reflect on it, notice what you might need, try a short exercise, and keep anything you write — privately, only if you want to.
Start here
You're feeling shame. What might help right now?
Pick whatever feels possible. There's no right answer, and you can come back to the others any time.
Step 1 · Understand
What shame can feel like
Shame often feels like there is something wrong with you, rather than with something that happened. It can arrive as heat, a wish to hide, or a sudden pull to disappear from the room.
Sometimes this can be connected to…
See whether any of these feel relevant. This may or may not fit your experience.
- Being criticised, mocked or corrected in front of others
- Growing up where mistakes were met with disapproval rather than repair
- Being blamed for things that were not yours to carry
- Feeling exposed after sharing something personal
- Comparing yourself with other people today
Possible feelings underneath it
- Embarrassed
- Exposed
- Inadequate
- Judged
- Unworthy
You might notice…
In your feelings
- A harsh inner voice
- Wanting to be invisible
- Feeling small or exposed
In what you do
- Withdrawing or cancelling plans
- Over-apologising
- Replaying what you said
In your body
- Heat in the face or chest
- Curling inward
- Difficulty meeting someone's eyes
The rest of this page is for members
Members can reflect with prompts written for shame, choose what they need, follow a matched Recovery Trauma™ exercise, and save it privately to their journal.
- Reflect
- What you might need
- Your exercise
- Save to journal
This is for education and self-reflection only. It isn't an assessment, a diagnosis or therapy, and it can't tell you why you feel something — only you can know that.
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