You Are Not Alone
Gentle support for moments when the urge to self-harm feels strong.
If you are here because you are struggling, thank you for opening this page.
We will not shame you, judge you, or tell you that you have failed.
Self-harm can sometimes become a way of coping with intense emotional pain, numbness, overwhelm, anger, fear, shame, or memories that feel too difficult to hold.
That does not mean you are weak, broken, attention-seeking, or beyond help.
You do not have to promise that you will never struggle again. For now, let us focus only on helping you get through this moment.
You are not alone.
My Support Plan
A gentle place to write down what already helps you. Saved only in this browser — never posted to the community, never visible to other members or staff.
Stored privately in this browser (localStorage). Clearing your browser data will remove it. Nothing is sent to Recovery Trauma™ or shared.
Contact Someone Safe
Save the people you trust here, then choose a gentle message to send when you need company. Nothing is sent automatically — you always choose when to reach out.
You haven't saved anyone yet. Add one person below — even one is enough.
+ Add a safe contact
Contacts are stored privately in this browser only.
Softer Things to Reach For
None of these may feel as immediate as an urge. That is understandable. Trying even one, for a few minutes, is meaningful.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Try Urge Surfing — watch the urge rise, peak, and soften.
Open tool → - 🌊Immediate regulation
Use the TIPP skills for fast nervous-system regulation.
Open tool → - 🌊Immediate regulation
Splash cool water on your face.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Hold a cool cloth against your cheeks.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Place your hands under cool running water.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Try paced breathing with a longer exhale.
Open tool → - 🌊Immediate regulation
Set a timer for ten minutes before making any decision.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Repeat gently: “I only need to get through this moment.”
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Move to a safer or more public room.
- 🌊Immediate regulation
Put distance between yourself and anything you might use to hurt yourself.
- 🌿Grounding
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.
Open tool → - 🌿Grounding
Name five colours you can see around you.
- 🌿Grounding
Press both feet gently into the floor.
- 🌿Grounding
Describe the room around you in detail.
- 🌿Grounding
Hold a comforting object.
- 🌿Grounding
Wrap yourself in a blanket.
- 🌿Grounding
Say your name, location, and today's date out loud.
- 🌿Grounding
Notice three sounds near you.
- 🌿Grounding
Slowly wash your hands and notice the sensation.
- 🌿Grounding
Use the Recovery Trauma™ Ground Me Now exercise.
Open tool → - 🚶Movement
Walk gently around the room.
- 🚶Movement
Take a short walk outside where it feels safe.
- 🚶Movement
Dance to one song.
- 🚶Movement
Stretch your shoulders, hands, and legs.
- 🚶Movement
Shake tension out of your arms and body.
- 🚶Movement
Try a trauma-informed yoga sequence.
- 🚶Movement
Use progressive muscle relaxation.
- 🚶Movement
March gently on the spot.
- 🚶Movement
Rock slowly while seated.
- 🚶Movement
Try a short somatic exercise.
Open tool → - 🎨Creative expression
Write exactly what you feel, without correcting it.
Open tool → - 🎨Creative expression
Write an unsent letter.
- 🎨Creative expression
Draw the emotion as a colour or shape.
Open tool → - 🎨Creative expression
Colour a picture or a calming pattern.
- 🎨Creative expression
Play a musical instrument, even for a minute.
- 🎨Creative expression
Sing or hum along to a familiar song.
- 🎨Creative expression
Make something with clay or craft materials.
- 🎨Creative expression
Tear scrap paper safely — a release without harm.
- 🎨Creative expression
Create a playlist for difficult moments.
- 🎨Creative expression
Write one sentence beginning with: “Right now I need…”
Open tool → - 🤍Comfort & senses
Use aromatherapy with a scent that already feels safe.
- 🤍Comfort & senses
Make a warm or cold drink and sip slowly.
- 🤍Comfort & senses
Take a gentle shower at a temperature that feels kind.
- 🤍Comfort & senses
Sit with or stroke a pet.
- 🤍Comfort & senses
Watch something familiar and comforting.
- 🤍Comfort & senses
Use a self-soothing exercise through the five senses.
Open tool → - 🤝Connection
Send someone a short message: “I'm having a difficult moment. Can you stay with me?”
- 🤝Connection
Sit near someone safe, even without talking.
- 🤝Connection
Contact professional or crisis support if the urge feels unsafe to manage alone.
- 💭Reflection
Write down three reasons to stay with yourself for the next hour.
Jana's Personal Top 10 Recovery Tools
A personal note from Jana, Founder of Recovery Trauma™
You do not have to try everything. Choose one small thing that feels possible today.
- 💧01
Cold water
Cold water on my face or wrists sometimes helped interrupt emotional intensity and bring me back into the present.
Please note: Avoid extreme cold, prolonged exposure, or anything that causes pain.
Open Cold Water Reset → - 🌸02
Aromatherapy
Comforting scents became part of my calming routine and helped make the space around me feel safer.
Please note: Avoid scents that trigger memories, allergies, migraines, asthma, pets, or sensory distress.
Open Five-Senses Self-Soothing → - 🕊️03
Speaking to my inner child through IFS
Learning to speak kindly to younger parts of myself was important in my recovery. Instead of asking “What is wrong with me?”, I began asking “What happened to you, and what do you need from me now?”
Please note: IFS is a supportive practice, not a replacement for therapy.
Open Inner Child Check-In → - 💃04
Dancing
Sometimes my body needed movement rather than words. Dancing to one song helped me release energy and reconnect with life.
Start One-Song Movement → - 🎤05
Singing
Singing helped me regulate my breathing, express emotions, and reconnect with my voice. It did not matter whether it sounded perfect.
Open Voice and Breathing Practice → - 🎹06
Playing the piano
Playing the piano gave difficult feelings somewhere to go when I could not explain them.
Open Creative Expression → - 📓07
Journaling
Writing helped me untangle thoughts and feelings I could not say aloud. Sometimes one honest sentence was enough.
Open Recovery Journal → - 🌬️08
Breathing exercises
Slowing my breathing, especially lengthening the exhale, helped my body settle during anxious moments.
Start Guided Breathing → - 🌿09
Grounding
Grounding reminded me that I was in the present and not back inside an earlier experience.
Ground Me Now → - 🐈10
Spending time with my cats
Quiet time with my cats helped me feel connected and less alone. Sometimes support does not need words.
Open Comfort and Connection Practice →
If you are reading this during a difficult moment, I am glad you came here.
I created Recovery Trauma™ because I understand how overwhelming emotional pain can feel. Recovery did not happen for me through one perfect technique. It happened through many small moments of pausing, reaching for support, expressing what I felt, and learning to respond to myself with more kindness.
Your pain deserves care, not punishment.
Please stay with yourself for this moment and reach out for human support when you need it.
You are not alone.
Jana Burkhardt
Founder, Recovery Trauma™
Was Learn helpful for you today?