Recognising healthier relationship patterns

• Card 1

  After a trauma bond, healthier relationships can initially feel underwhelming, even boring — because the nervous system has learned to associate intensity with connection. Steadiness can take some getting used to, and that adjustment period is normal rather than a sign something is missing.

• Card 2

  Some markers people find helpful to notice

  • Consistency between someone's words and their actions over time
  • Feeling like yourself around them, rather than managing them
  • Disagreements that resolve without fear, threats or silence
  • Being able to have needs and boundaries without punishment
  • A general sense of predictability rather than walking on eggshells
  • Calm feeling like relief, not like something is wrong

  This isn't a test to apply to people early on, and it isn't about becoming suspicious of everyone. It's a gentle reference point as your sense of 'normal' recalibrates.

• Card 3

  If you'd like a plain-English public introduction to this topic to share with someone else, or to read again outside this programme, Recovery Trauma™ also publishes articles on the blog at /blog/category/trauma-bonds.

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