Learn5 min
What is an abusive relationship?
A pattern of behaviour, not a single moment or a bad week.
1 of 3
Swipe left or right to move between cards
An abusive relationship is generally described as one where a repeated pattern of behaviour is used — knowingly or not — to gain or keep power over another person. It can involve fear, control, degradation, or harm to your body, mind, finances or freedom. Conflict, hurt feelings and mistakes happen in every relationship; abuse is different because of the pattern, the power imbalance and the effect it has on your ability to be yourself.
Things that are often true, and often surprising
- Abuse can happen without any physical violence at all
- Abuse can exist alongside love, shared history, good times and genuine care
- Abuse can happen in any relationship — partners, family, friends, carers, colleagues
- Abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, income, education or confidence
- Many people recognise the behaviours long before they recognise the word
Reading an article cannot tell you whether you are in an abusive relationship, and nothing here is a diagnosis or an instruction. It is information you can hold up against your own experience, at your own pace.
Not sure about some behaviours in your relationship? A short, private reflection tool can help you put words to what you notice.
Take the Relationship Safety Check →