Where harsh self-talk can come from

• Card 1

  An inner critic rarely appears from nowhere. For many people it forms out of messages received early in life — from parents, teachers, peers or wider culture — that were critical, conditional, or demanding of perfection. Over time, those outside voices can become an inside one.

• Card 2

  Common origins people recognise

  • Growing up around frequent criticism, comparison or high expectations
  • Love or approval that felt conditional on achievement or behaviour
  • Being blamed for things outside your control
  • Environments where mistakes were met with anger, ridicule or withdrawal
  • Learning that criticising yourself first felt safer than being caught off guard by someone else's criticism

  None of this means your inner critic is “your fault”, and it doesn't mean the people around you were always to blame either — it is simply one way a nervous system tries to keep you safe.

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