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The inner critic and shame
How self-attack and shame can reinforce each other.
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Shame is the feeling that something is wrong with you as a person, rather than with something you did. A harsh inner critic often speaks in exactly that language — “you're stupid”, “you're too much”, “you're unlovable” — rather than commenting on a specific action.
How the cycle can look
- A mistake or setback happens
- The inner critic responds with global, personal attacks
- Shame intensifies, making the critic feel even more “true”
- Withdrawal, over-apologising or self-punishment can follow
- The pattern repeats next time something goes wrong
Because shame and self-criticism are so closely linked, it can help to explore this module alongside our dedicated Shame-Based Trauma guide, which looks in more depth at where shame comes from and how to work with it.
